Life lessons, one day at a time.

As we were leaving the playground, I spotted a mom walking towards the park with her little girl in tow.  The girl might have been 3 or 4 years old, wearing a fuschia sweatsuit and rainbow tennis shoes. I felt bad that we were leaving just as she was arriving, for she looked like she wanted to play with all the kids.

The mom sat down on the curb as her daughter continued walking towards us to the slide. As we passed her, I let out a cheerful hello. I turned to Evelyn, expecting her to follow in response but she simply stared at the girl and looked away. I tried coaxing her to say hello, to at least be polite enough to acknowledge her existence but for some reason, she kept avoiding eye contact. Feeling slightly embarassed for myself and sympathetic towards the little girl, I said goodbye and we all kept walking on to our car. As i opened the doors to hoist everyone inside, I asked Evelyn why she hadn't said anything to the little girl and her answer shocked me.

"I didn't like her face", Evelyn told me matter of factly as she stepped inside.

"Why? What didn't you like about it?" I asked.'

"I didn't like it. It was dark" she replied back quietly as she nestled into her booster seat

This is the part where a thousand tiny little knives plunged their way into my heart.

The little girl was of Indian descent, dark face, dark hair. Not unlike people she's seen before but nevertheless, too dark to be acknowledged by my five year old daughter.

Shocked, I immediately admonished her for saying and thinking such a thing. The next few hours were spent having a terse discussion with Evelyn, trying to explain to her why what she said was inappropriate and in fact, wrong. I explained to her how she might not realize it, but that we are different to most people just like that little girl at the park is different to her. I explained to her about not judging people based on their outer appearance but by the kindness of their hearts. I tried my best not to scold her but deep down, I was very hurt and angry and ashamed. How could my child possibly feel this way, let alone know to feel that way about anyone?

If there is anything John and I try to instill in our kids, it's kindness and acceptance. We both know how it felt to grow up being the minority and even in this day and age know what it is like to be the only yellow face in a sea of white. But we don't want her to ever feel ashamed of who she is, who she was born into this world to be. We want her to know she is a Korean-American. She has a culture and values different from many of her school peers. We want her to be proud of who she is, always.

At the end of the night, after I had exhausted all of my efforts to explain to her what had happened, I told her simply:

God made us all different. Some people have black hair, some people have yellow hair, some people are brown, some people are light. Some people are nice and some people are bad. And yet, God loves us all because He made us all. So we have to try to be like God and love everyone, regardless of what they look like or what they might do.

My explanation may sound elementary but she is in kindergarten so it's rather apropos. I guess after trying to always overanalyze and criticize the world in which we live, sometimes the best answers are the most simple.

I think Evelyn understands why I was so upset and I hope she realizes what I was trying to teach her. I did my best to turn the situation into a teaching moment and certainly hope I succeeded but there is still a lingering pang of sadness in my heart. I just couldn't believe that something so mean had come from my daughter's thoughts.

Maybe I'm overreacting to the situation since she is still just very young but I think yesterday's incident was a stark slap in my face. It was a reminder to all of us that it is not the responsibility of the school, teachers, media or caregivers to teach our child important life lessons and morals. It is our job as parents to mold our children, to teach them well......and to lead the way...?

Hmm... that sounds like part of a song doesn't it? Whitney Houston, anyone?

All I have left to say is this - This parenting job, it is really challenging. And really important. And quite possibly the most important job I'll ever have.

So I better not screw it up.

First of 2010.

First post of the new year! It only took me 8 days to write my first post of 2010. Although, it has been significantly longer between posts. Don't ask me what's wrong with me lately, I don't know either.

After two weeks of winter break, Evelyn is back in school and let me tell you, things are QUIET when she's gone. All of my kids have inherited the "quiet in public, obnoxious in private" gene. So on the days when she doesn't have school? It's blow horn city around here. Especially, especially during Wesley and Elliott's naptime.

Awesome.

Speaking of Elliott, the two babies are becoming quite buddy-buddy. They seem to nap better when they go down together, although Elliott doesn't like to nap for any longer than one hour and 45 minutes, max. Whereas my baby, if the conditions allow, can sleep for up to three hours. This is after sleeping anywhere between 12-14 hours a night. What can I say, all my children also inherited my "sleep so much it's impossible you can be tired but you're still tired anyways" gene.

My genes - future therapy gold.



Speaking of tired.

I am t.i.r.e.d.

All. the. time.

No, I'm not pregnant. Moving along.

I suppose this dreary weather has something to do with things but generally I'm just always so exhausted. I admit, I've been sleeping later than I should and waking up a few times during the night.

Curse you, small bladder! Curses!

Also, my diet has been horrible these last couple of months. These days my main food groups have consisted of coffee and creamer. And yet, here I am. SO. TIRED.

I also can't remember the last time I enjoyed a fruit or vegetable. Sure, I'll grab one of the kids' apple slices here and there but I don't think I've actually eaten an entire apple or any healthy green vegetables. In fact, I really can't tell you what I've been eating. And yet, my arms are still sausagy and I have whole milk cottage cheese on my thighs. Damn metabolism.

Anyways, I don't really believe in setting New Years resolutions because I think it's silly to only have goals during one time of the year. I know I need to start eating better and exercising (UGH) even though it is something I abhor. I've dusted off our trusty treadmill in the garage and one of these days maybe I'll use it.

Hey, I said maybe.

Baby steps.

***

Proof that my son is incapable of taking a decent picture.

Hey, let's take a picture!

Put your hand down!

Dude, open your eyes!

Hello, did you even hear what I said? YOUR EYES. OPEN.

OK, now close your mouth!

Not your eyes. Your mouth.

....Oh nevermind.