I got up and fed him yogurt. He was in a good mood and I'm working on it with a cup of coffee. Not a morning person but I'm trying.
Are you happy, Lisa?
***
5:05am: Hear strange noises coming from the kids' room. Angrily* pop out of bed, rip off eye mask and stomp into hallway only to see the tiny head of a one Oliver Bang scurrying back into his room and under the covers like he never left there in the first place.
Go in the room and whisper-scold him and tell him to stay. in. your. bed. until it's time to get up (which is basically whenever I roll out of bed)
*Would like to add that anger is disproportionate to violation. What can I say, I am not a morning person.
5:11am - Hear squeak of door as Oliver tries to slowly sneak out of room again and back into hallway
5:12am - Stomp back into hallway, throw Korean death stare in direction of boy (I say in the general direction of the kid because I don't have my glasses on so who knows what I'm actually looking at) and he obediently runs back in and tucks himself in.
5:15am - Hear rustling in his room but decide to give him another chance to fall asleep. Check on the camera monitor. He appears to be getting sleepy again.
5:20am - Check the camera one more time before replacing eye mask and attempting to sleep for a couple more hours.
5:25am - Begin to drift off.
5:49am - Sleepy but not yet in slumber. Decide to check monitor one more time.
5:50am - WHAT THE!
Oliver's bed is empty. Door is open.
Once again rip off eye mask, bound out of room and burst into hallway.
Hear smacking of lips. Hmm, sounds like Oliver might be throwing up? It is coming from down below. I look over the railing and see Oliver crouched in front of the living room couch.
I ask him to come upstairs.
He ignores.
I ask again.
He ignores. again.
In anger, I storm downstairs and find him.. get this.... eating macaroni and cheese out of a container.
With his hands.
5:55am - I'm fuming! Snatch container out of his hands and throw in garbage, despite his protests. In kitchen, find a stepstool placed in front of the refridgerator. Explains the macaroni and cheese. Btw, we have childproof locks on our utensil drawers. This explains the hands.
6:03am - Supress urge to spank and instead not so nicely nudge him up the stairs while whisper -yelling at the kid. He retreats to his room in tears, declaring that he's "so hungry!", and you want to know something? I don't even care.
You hear me? DON'T. EVEN. CARE.
My heart is made of stone. STONE.
6:09am - Jump back into bed muttering all sorts of angry nonsense until John hisses at me to shut my pie hole, it's 6:00 in the morning woman!
6:20am - Allow myself to calm down. Breathe deeply. Say a prayer for patience and serenity and drift off.....
8:00am: I wake up to find that John is already downstairs making breakfast for the kids.
God must have heard my prayer for serenity.
Now if we could just work on the patience part.
***
He is very lucky he's cute.
