I'm tired. The end.

Ah, here's to another chapter written in the Oliver Saga.
Today was a doozy, people.

DOOZY

I'll keep it short by just saying that we had to leave a birthday party at Point Defiance Zoo before it even began. Yes, it was that fantastic. Imagine lots of tears, whining, flailing and hissing.

Oh and Oliver was pretty worked up too. Heh.

He hasn't napped in, Oh I don't know, what feels like about one million years, so the 2:00pm start for the party already had me quaking in my flip flops. Prime meltdown time! I was hoping (in vain, might I add) that he would somehow cooperate and be calm and cool.

HA HA HA HA HA! I'm so funny! Phew!
*Wipes tears from eyes*

Anyways, he was just basically uncontrollable today. Let's face it, the odds were not in my favor. I was grossly outnumbered 3 to 1 since John had to work today. You'd think I'd be used to the gross outnumbering right? Imagine me chasing Oliver while wearing the baby in a sling and waiting for Evelyn to catch up since she was running after me like I was going to abandon her.

Please. Abandon the good one?

Usually when he acts up I just try and deal with it the best I can, but today I decided I needed to be much more militant in my discipline. If he couldn't control himself, I'd follow through with my previously empty threats to "calm down or we're going home." I needed him to understand that his behavior was simply unacceptable. And let's face it, ANNOYING.

So anyways, I (literally) tossed him in the stroller and wheeled us the hell out of that place. I was able to contain my anger until we got to the car and then did what any self respecting parent would do.

I rolled up the window and yelled at him like a crazy woman.

He was crying so much he gagged and vomited all over himself. At this point I was so irritated I decided to just keep driving and let him soak in his vomit until we got home.

I know!

Mom of the Year 2009!

He eventually fell asleep from the sheer exhaustion of being evil. When I pulled into the driveway, he woke up with a look on his face that was like,

"Wuh? What happened? Why am I covered in vomit and where is my piece of birthday cake, lady?"

He acted like nothing had ever happened.

NOTHING.

*Sighs*

Sometimes I wish I drank.