Self absorbed at the core

Sometimes I wonder who exactly reads this blog. When I was using Wordpress, I could easily track the number of people who visited the site. I know there is a way to track it on Blogger but I'm finding I kind of don't care anymore.

Wait!
Let me rephrase.

I do care. I care about the people who do read this blog. When someone at church comes up to me and tells me she enjoyed my story about Oliver's tantrumfest, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It also makes me realize people do read between the lines and know that, while I might feel like my brain is going to explode into tiny, tiny pieces on a daily basis, they know I love my kids and have a sense of humor to deal with whatever comes my way. So yes, I do appreciate the people that take the time to read this, as mundane as I may seem at times. I mean, how much can one person write about poop, vomit and crying you wonder? Well, let me just tell you, A LOT. I can write about it A LOT.

Let's be honest - Blogs are pretty self serving vessels. I mean, I do think many positive things come from blogging. I read one blog regularly who has found a group of faithful (literally and metaphorically) followers who pray for her ailing son. I've read some very insightful stories on parenting, marriage, kids.

But like I said, blogs are at their core, self serving. Honestly, I am a fairly shy person (no... really...) but oddly enough I feel comfortable sharing some of my life with you right out here in the open. I often write about my parenting mishaps. Oh I'm sure some people judge me. Hey, I judge me too! But really, I am not afraid of people judging me. If I were, then I'd probably wouldn't blog. Or uh, open my mouth. I've learned long ago to stop caring how people perceive me. Only those that truly know me understand what I'm like. But I find something comforting in writing out my thoughts in a journal. This journal just happens to be public. I mean, it's not one of those "Dear Diary" kinds of journals. Let's face it, I'm not 16 and in dire need of braces, a pushup bra and a boyfriend.

Well ok, at least I don't need a boyfriend.

But I do find myself bonding with those in similar situations as mine. It's tough being a stay at home mom on one income with little outside help. It's also tough having three kids under the age of 4 in the dead of the hottest summer we've ever had in Seattle. Seriously, the weather was ridiculous. But anyways, it is nice to find common ground and community with other parents who understand.

Anyways, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am thankful I have people who care about me enough to listen to what I have to say.

Whoever you all are.