Keep your expecations low, people.

Ummmm..... so yeah. It's been a while, hasn't it? What can I say, I've been lazy. Plus, John was on vacation last week so it's almost like I had a real life for once.

Well, for at least 12 days.

We didn't do anything particularly special on his vacation other than take Evelyn to the zoo for her birthday. John posted most of the pics on facebook so there's nothing new for me to post here. Other than that, we just hung out together at home, ran random errands sans kids (whoo!) and spent some time with my parents.

I know, we're so exciting. Calm down now.

***

So... after Evelyn's kindergarten experience is improving. I mean, after the first day how could it get any worse? EH. We're now driving her to and from school and it's been ok so far. I've been able to leave the kids at home in the morning with either Steve or John and I've only had to take the kids to pick up twice. So far Oliver's behaved in the stroller, thanks to bribes of korean yogurt juice and crackers. Hey, whatever works right?

***

I just read what I've written so far and WOW, I'm lame! What's wrong with me, jeez. I am bo-rinnnng.

WAH WAH WAH - Charlie Brown's teacher.

***

BTW, I totally owe Evelyn a birthday post.

*sighs*

***

To be continued...

Maybe....

Someday....

If you're lucky.....

But don't count on it.....

I need DVR and a regular babysitter

Ok, enough about kindergarten... for now. Traumatized, pissed, blah blah blah.

Let us talk about more pressing issues.

FALL TV!

GLEE:

My new obsession! If you haven't caught the show yet, you need to run to your computer and watch it online. Just go! Hurry! The music is great, the one liners make me grab my stomach in laughter and it's just different than what is out there. Seriously, I can't stop listening to the music online. LOVE IT.

VAMPIRE DIARIES:

*Groans* I know, I know. It's totally like Twlight. But not. And it's for silly teenagers. But not. And Paul Wesley is quite cute. Like Robert Pattinson. It's one of those shows where it's so bad that it's sooo good. :)

NCIS and NCIS Los Angeles:

NCIS is my go-to favorite show right now. I'm all caught up from reruns on The USA Network (God bless the USA) and can't wait for the new season to begin. I'm also excited about the spinoff, which stars L.L. Cool J and Chris O'Donnell. Mmmmm.

Sidebar - Do you notice that all the shows on the WB and the CW want us (the 30 somethings) to basically relive the years of our youth; or more accurately, wish we could relive the days of our youth as rich, beautiful young white people with perfect skin and glimmering white teeth? Does anyone else feel inadequate as a regular human being watching these mannequins? Or is it just me?

Shows I have been neglecting but promise to try and watch regularly this season:

House
Chuck
Grey's Anatomy
Law and Order: SVU
Friday Night Lights
Lost

Dude, I really need to get DVR, don't I?

So, what else should I be watching?


***

We went to a wedding today and were gone for over five hours. I can't remember having enjoyed a wedding this much in a long time. Oh, and did I mention that we left all three kids at home? It felt like a mini vacation today! My awesome cousin John came down on his day off and entertained the kids and dogs all day long. He fed them snacks and meals nonstop and even dealt with Oliver's inability to wear pants around the house. Luckily, Oliver was kind enough to humor him with a pair of Thomas the Train underwear. Eh.

But yes, today was a very enjoyable day. Now all the kids are sleeping, John is at the Puyallup Fair for work (to take pictures) and it's just me, the computer and the dogs. Actually, the dogs are passed out on the floor next to me. It's been a good day.

Hmm, although it would probably be a little better if I had a burger and fries. At least John is bringing me home a bag of Fair scones. Mmm, butter.

Fears and unanswered questions

I'm trying not to let this consume me but I keep thinking about what happened at Evelyn's school. A million thoughts keep going through my mind as I replay back the events of today. I wonder who would have noticed if she was missing. I mean, if John and I hadn't followed the bus to school, who would have known she'd even made it there on the bus? As parents, how are we to even know if our kids make it to the school via the bus on the first place. Sure, buses are touted as safe rides for children of all ages. We were assured at the school open house that special care and attention would be given to all the kindergarteners.

Well, if this is their idea of special care and attention....

How does something like this even happen?? I mean, obviously no one even noticed my little four year old girl wandering the halls upstairs alone until an announcement was made. If we weren't there to draw attention to this issue, would the announcement have been made at all? Who would have known to look for a little girl in a purple jacket, a little girl named Evelyn Bang?

No one would have noticed. No one would have even known.

So how am I supposed to comfortably send her back there, day after day? How do other parents do this? How do I let go so my children can grow up and become strong, independent adults? How do I let go when everything within me wants to lock them up in the house and homeschool them - er, if I were that kind of parent, of course. Heh.

This parenting thing... how do people do it.

I really don't know.

Only the first day and I'm traumatized

Update: After discussing things with John, we both feel it is best for my sanity in everyone's best interest if we drive Evelyn to school and pick her up. I ended up picking her up today in front of her classroom and felt relief when I saw her heading out of the class wandering to the left straight for me. Maybe we'll try the bus another day. Or never. Whatever.

***

The day started off innocently enough. I rolled out of bed a little before 7 and jumped in the shower. My stomach felt jittery with anticipation and dread. Today was the day my baby was going to kindergarten.

I had a hard time getting Evelyn to wake up at 7:20 and had to sternly lecture her a few times as she struggled to pull her pants on and whined about not wanting me to wash her face and curl her hair. She managed a few bites of waffles and eggs before it was time to head over to the bus stop. My original plan was to walk with her while John met us with the car. However due to being behind schedule (Evelyn is the slowest eater, btw), we all ended up driving over together.

We spent a few nervous minutes taking pictures and chatting with Evelyn while in line for the bus. When it finally came time to get on the bus, she shyly stepped forward, turned around and gave us a wave. On my tip toes, I could see her tiny self settle into the second seat behind the driver. She stood up so she could see us and we all waved like mad people until the bus left us. The minute she stepped on the bus with her giant backpack attached, I started to cry. I was so overwhelmed to see her getting on this huge bus without us.


I'm going to miss her all day long.

(The sweet part of the story ends here)

Once the bus sped off, John and I jumped in the car and tailgated the bus through another 5 or 6 monotonous pick ups before it headed over to the school. During the drive, John and I chatted about our little girl, hoping she was doing ok on the bus. Hoping she wasn't getting sick. Hoping she wasn't crying.


When the bus finally pulled up to the school, John ran to meet her as she was getting off the bus while I went to the classroom to wait for their arrival.

But the arrival never happened.

Apparently when John reached the bus, he saw the older student already exiting and heading into the building. We were under the impression that the youngest students would be dismissed off the bus first and then escorted to their appropriate classes but he thought maybe today they were going to get off last. So he waited... and waited... and waited...

And she never got off. So he went into the bus to look for her.

The bus was empty.

And she wasn't there.

At this point, John was livid. LIVID, I TELL YOU. And if you know John, then you know what this means right?

We spent the next ten minutes running around the school like maniacs, trying to figure out where she could be. The worst thoughts ran through my head - Was she lost, had someone taken her, did she get off at a bus stop when we weren't looking? WHERE WAS SHE OMG.

The principal tried reassuring us that she was fine - if she had gotten on the bus, she was here somewhere.

Then I punched him in the throat. We stared silently as he tried to assure us we'd find her.

Finally, the secretary spoke with the bus driver to confirm that no students were left on the bus and then she made an announcement over the loudspeaker.

After what seemed about a gazillion years later, John finally spotted Evelyn walking down the stairs with a teacher. Apparently she had gotten off the bus and not knowing where to go and having no direction, she simply followed the other older kids upstairs to the 4th and 5th grade classrooms.

Seriously, people. What... the....*BLEEP*

When we attended the open house last week, we were assured. ASSURED. that the kindergarten students would be greeted at the bus and taken to the appropriate classroom. So what the hell happened today? I understand the first day of school can be hectic and disorganized but someone needs to figure this all out. Learn to deal with the hectic and disorganized and take care of my child, damn it!

After speaking with the principal, John was still very upset and we were both hesitant to leave her at school. We watched her through the doorway for a few minutes and then reluctantly made our way into the school parking lot.

Initially I had planned to just meet her at the bus stop after school but I think I am going to head over to the school before 3 and watch her physically get on her bus and then I'm going to be glued to that bus until it reaches our bus stop. Then I'm going to scoop her up, take her home and lock the door behind me.

This day is the most stressful ever. and it's not even lunchtime.

Two more days

Two more days.

Two more days until my first born goes to school for the first time ever.

I am dreading the thought of being away from Evelyn for six hours, 3 days/week. I can't promise you I won't cry. I'll probably weep a little. Like a dude whose team has lost the superbowl.

She had her kindergarten open house last Thursday. We had been anticipating the open house for weeks, hoping to get more acquainted with the school and the teacher. I was also hoping I'd be able to get some of my more pressing questions answered.


Will she be ok on the bus? How do you handle lunchtime? How many times a month will she have PE?


I was really counting on going to the open house to have any doubts quelled and to make myself feel better about the decision to have her start this early. We stayed at the school for over an hour and met Evelyn's teacher, explored the classroom and took a short bus ride. When it was finally time to leave, Evelyn was in a fair mood. She seemed a bit nervous about her classroom but was very excited about the bus ride.



And I?



Did not feel better about anything.



At all.



I left the school feeling more apprehensive than I had been leading up to that night. I think visiting her classroom and meeting her teacher were concrete indications that my baby is indeed growing up quickly. Too quickly. Her teacher seemed nice enough, if a little indifferent towards Evelyn but I'm sure it was the atmosphere of having many overbearing parents and hyper children running rampant around her legs while trying to discuss school logistics. Or maybe she was just indifferent. Who knows. I guess we will see as the school year progresses.

Evelyn seems ready to be in a classroom setting. To be learning new things and making new friends. She seems so ready to grow up and discover an entirely new world.

But I'm not ready. Not ready at all.

But I only have two more days to prepare myself.


Two more days...