Wow.
It's been so long since I've logged on here that I just don't really know what to do with myself. Let's see, where did I end off? Oh yes, the last time I posted here, I was happily employed by three tiny minions, slaving over a hot stove and wiping a**es every five minutes. While I did enjoy that job ever so much, I have to say that the pay kind of sucked. But now, I'm up at some godforsaken hour typing away at my work computer. Yes, work. As in, paid employment some 30+ miles away from the comfort of my own home. The last few months have been a tumultuous, interesting and strangely educational period in our lives and we're still trying to figure out what the hell we're doing. But in the meantime, this is where I'll be for the next year or so - in front of this computer doing what I did so well for 7 years before I quit in 2008 - pretending to work while sleeping at my desk with my eyes open. So while some things change, some things just stay the same.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
For you (re-posted from almost one year ago)
The well worn cliche' - life is short. So cliche and yet, so appropriate. None of us know what path our lives will take, what our present will be, what our future will hold. One day we might wake up and the world we have known for the past 20, 30 years will have been shattered in the blink of an eye.
I realize that I have always been a rather emotionally distant person. Not including my family, of course, but to those on the outside world - pseudo friends, aquaintenances, co-workers. Rarely do I let my wall down to truly share who I really am. But in the last few years, I have forged lasting and strong relationships with certain individuals and families and these relationships are important. They are carved into my life in a way that affects the way I think, the things I do and the reasons behind which I do them. I have never been one of those "Friends are my family" people, because frankly, I have a family of my own. But I have now come to realize that these friends have become a different kind of family - equally important in a non-biological, non-obligatory way. They are part of my life. Part of the lives of my children. An integral component of my identity as a Christian.
It is still somewhat difficult for me to invest in relationships outside of my comfort zone. As I get older, I have less time to spend with my own family and whatever time I do have I want to fully embrace. But making these friends and forging these bonds have made me realize how important a role we play in each others lives. Friendship, like any other relationship, is about give and take. Sacrifice and generosity. Sharing joy and sharing pain.
You realize how profoundly important someone is to you when their joy becomes your own joy, their pain becomes your own pain. Their lives become a part of your own life.
I realize that I have always been a rather emotionally distant person. Not including my family, of course, but to those on the outside world - pseudo friends, aquaintenances, co-workers. Rarely do I let my wall down to truly share who I really am. But in the last few years, I have forged lasting and strong relationships with certain individuals and families and these relationships are important. They are carved into my life in a way that affects the way I think, the things I do and the reasons behind which I do them. I have never been one of those "Friends are my family" people, because frankly, I have a family of my own. But I have now come to realize that these friends have become a different kind of family - equally important in a non-biological, non-obligatory way. They are part of my life. Part of the lives of my children. An integral component of my identity as a Christian.
It is still somewhat difficult for me to invest in relationships outside of my comfort zone. As I get older, I have less time to spend with my own family and whatever time I do have I want to fully embrace. But making these friends and forging these bonds have made me realize how important a role we play in each others lives. Friendship, like any other relationship, is about give and take. Sacrifice and generosity. Sharing joy and sharing pain.
You realize how profoundly important someone is to you when their joy becomes your own joy, their pain becomes your own pain. Their lives become a part of your own life.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Parenting 102
I started this post a couple of months ago but then never got around to finishing it. Until today.
I know I've been neglecting this blog but I'll try to keep more up to date going forward. And in case you're wondering, I'm still not at Day 30 of the shred. And yes, it's been way over 30 days since I started. And yes, it's called "The 30 Day Shred". And yes, sadly I am still flabby.
Anyways, carry on. Hopefully I'll be back with more. I am not making any promises, but I'll try. And next time I might even have pictures!
***
I'm just not good at being a stay at home mom.
No phrase irks me more than this one.
It's an easy way to say that you just might not want to be a stay at home. and nothing is wrong with that. I just wish people would say what they mean without masking it in a cloud of faux self-deprecation.
Say what you mean - if what you really mean is that you don't like staying home and would rather work, just say it. Say what you mean instead of hiding behind words you think will stave off judgement. Because you know what?
You will be judged, no matter what.
Judging. It's what people do. Is it right? No. But is it a natural human reaction? Yes. We tend to judge people when their choices differ from ours, when it may be something we would never do or even consider. But God created us all differently for a reason. Life is not a simple puzzle of squares and circles. We are given twists, turns, bends, and improbable obstacles and we have to find a way to make it work. As parents, we figure out what works for us and we stick with it. But others feel that their way is the way and proceed to let it be known to the world.
In the media, no one gets more beat up and judged than mothers. Mothers who work put their careers ahead of their family. Mothers who stay home are stunting equality and slowing the movement of womens rights. Moms who breastfeed are harpy hippies. Moms who formula feed are detached and uninformed. Instead of building one another up, we are tearing each other down, many times as reassurance to our own choices.
Personally, I am confident in the choices I make for my children and my family. Much of this comes from the experience of raising three small children - with each child comes more wisdom and more "ah ha!" moments. But I have made my share of mistakes. I have heard my share of criticisms. But from these, I learn. I change. I grow. I make my choices and I do the best that I can - whether it be as a working mom or a stay at home mom. I do the best I can do.
And the best that I can do should be more than good enough.
I know I've been neglecting this blog but I'll try to keep more up to date going forward. And in case you're wondering, I'm still not at Day 30 of the shred. And yes, it's been way over 30 days since I started. And yes, it's called "The 30 Day Shred". And yes, sadly I am still flabby.
Anyways, carry on. Hopefully I'll be back with more. I am not making any promises, but I'll try. And next time I might even have pictures!
***
I'm just not good at being a stay at home mom.
No phrase irks me more than this one.
It's an easy way to say that you just might not want to be a stay at home. and nothing is wrong with that. I just wish people would say what they mean without masking it in a cloud of faux self-deprecation.
Say what you mean - if what you really mean is that you don't like staying home and would rather work, just say it. Say what you mean instead of hiding behind words you think will stave off judgement. Because you know what?
You will be judged, no matter what.
Judging. It's what people do. Is it right? No. But is it a natural human reaction? Yes. We tend to judge people when their choices differ from ours, when it may be something we would never do or even consider. But God created us all differently for a reason. Life is not a simple puzzle of squares and circles. We are given twists, turns, bends, and improbable obstacles and we have to find a way to make it work. As parents, we figure out what works for us and we stick with it. But others feel that their way is the way and proceed to let it be known to the world.
In the media, no one gets more beat up and judged than mothers. Mothers who work put their careers ahead of their family. Mothers who stay home are stunting equality and slowing the movement of womens rights. Moms who breastfeed are harpy hippies. Moms who formula feed are detached and uninformed. Instead of building one another up, we are tearing each other down, many times as reassurance to our own choices.
Personally, I am confident in the choices I make for my children and my family. Much of this comes from the experience of raising three small children - with each child comes more wisdom and more "ah ha!" moments. But I have made my share of mistakes. I have heard my share of criticisms. But from these, I learn. I change. I grow. I make my choices and I do the best that I can - whether it be as a working mom or a stay at home mom. I do the best I can do.
And the best that I can do should be more than good enough.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
School. Days.....? Oh, forget it.
Nothing really exciting going on around here on the home front. The kids have been generally very pleasant and cute to be around these days so I guess that means no interesting blog stories. Jeez, happy kids are boring. Pffft.
Evelyn is at school today and the babies are napping so the house is eerily quiet. I hear random banging and humming from Oliver upstairs so I know he's ok. He's just chugging along with his trains.
Chugging.
Trains.
Get it? I'm hilare!
......so.... anyways,
I called the school recently to ask about next year's kindergarten program and turns out Evelyn will be going all day next year. That means, everyday. all day.
Five. Days. A. Week.
Now, if you asked me how I felt about this six months ago, I would have probably told you how sad I feel or how much I'd miss her, but now that I've had a taste of whata quiet household school life is like for all of us, I'm really excited. More importantly, she loves going to school and always comes home smiling, regaling me with story after story. I'm sure one day she'll wake up and declare she "hates school" and is "never going to go again", but I'll enjoy her innocence and excitement for as long as I can.
***
So, we're all finally almost all better around here. Thankfully, the kids are 100% - I'm the only one holding onto the disgusting congestion and cough. Plus, I've been having sinus pain the last couple of days, which has made me even more pleasant. Har.
I've managed to work out a total of five times in the last two weeks, three of which are from this week. I'm trying to make a habit of it so I don't make excuses for myself to skip and get lazy. I haven't lost any weight, which.. FINE, universe. YOU WIN, but I definitely have more energy and am a little less moody. Hey, I said a little.
***
Ooh, babies are awake. Time for lunch and then I have to load them in the car to get Evelyn. Fun times.
OMG. I make myself sound so exciting. Somebody stop me.
Evelyn is at school today and the babies are napping so the house is eerily quiet. I hear random banging and humming from Oliver upstairs so I know he's ok. He's just chugging along with his trains.
Chugging.
Trains.
Get it? I'm hilare!
......so.... anyways,
I called the school recently to ask about next year's kindergarten program and turns out Evelyn will be going all day next year. That means, everyday. all day.
Five. Days. A. Week.
Now, if you asked me how I felt about this six months ago, I would have probably told you how sad I feel or how much I'd miss her, but now that I've had a taste of what
***
So, we're all finally almost all better around here. Thankfully, the kids are 100% - I'm the only one holding onto the disgusting congestion and cough. Plus, I've been having sinus pain the last couple of days, which has made me even more pleasant. Har.
I've managed to work out a total of five times in the last two weeks, three of which are from this week. I'm trying to make a habit of it so I don't make excuses for myself to skip and get lazy. I haven't lost any weight, which.. FINE, universe. YOU WIN, but I definitely have more energy and am a little less moody. Hey, I said a little.
***
Ooh, babies are awake. Time for lunch and then I have to load them in the car to get Evelyn. Fun times.
OMG. I make myself sound so exciting. Somebody stop me.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Day 13. 14 and UGH
I have been living in the House of Cough and Snot for the last week or so. Turns out Evelyn had an ear infection on top of her horrible coughing and high fever. Wesley, Elliott and Oliver all had fevers and buckets of snot dripping from their noses.The kids are finally on the mend but I am still holding strong to mild congestion and a hacking cough. So basically I feel like hot, roasted ass. Lovely.
***
I hadn't worked out since last Wednesday since, you know, my lungs were in danger of being expelled from my chest with every hack. Sunday was definitely my worst day so far and thankfully Lisa took the kids out to the park and for a walk so I could veg at home in relative silence. On Monday, I felt relatively well enough to attempt the Shred video and got through Level 2 without fainting. Tuesday, I decided to push myself with Level 3 and let's just say, today - Wednesday - I am paying for it. My legs are s.o.r.e. I am taking a break today because I still feel stuffy and congested. Can I just not be sick anymore? Please? Thanks.
***
I hadn't worked out since last Wednesday since, you know, my lungs were in danger of being expelled from my chest with every hack. Sunday was definitely my worst day so far and thankfully Lisa took the kids out to the park and for a walk so I could veg at home in relative silence. On Monday, I felt relatively well enough to attempt the Shred video and got through Level 2 without fainting. Tuesday, I decided to push myself with Level 3 and let's just say, today - Wednesday - I am paying for it. My legs are s.o.r.e. I am taking a break today because I still feel stuffy and congested. Can I just not be sick anymore? Please? Thanks.
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